Tips, Tricks, & Techniques

(Tips, Tricks, & Techniques provides how-to information about folk music and other topics. The main Tips page contains a list of additional tips.) THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF OPEN MIKES In the previous installment of this series, I mentioned that one has to start somewhere and that, if a song plays in a forest and nobody hears it, it might as well not have been played at all. Open mikes are the least traumatic way to push your songs out of the nest and hone your performance and entertaining skills at the same time with as little pressure as possible. To reduce any residual trauma even further, I offer my Ten Commandments of Open Mikes. (You won¹t have the trauma of a hernia, either—even a desktop PC weighs less than a couple of stone tablets, and there are no tiresome mountains to climb or messy burning bushes to confront.) I. THIS IS AN OPEN MIKE AND ONLY AN OPEN MIKE. IT IS NEITHER A CAREER-KILLER NOR A STEPPINGSTONE TO STARDOM. THOU SHALT LIGHTEN UP. II. THOU SHALT KNOW THY LOCATION. It should go without saying, but never take an open mike listing on the Web or in the paper on faith. Phone or email well in advance to confirm date, time, and address (including cross streets). Keep maps or street guides in your car or gig bag. III. THOU SHALT KNOW THE RULES. Always ask the following: signup procedure and deadlines (some let you phone in; some have a set call-in hour; some require you to wait in line, sometimes over an hour); average number of performers; length of set in terms of both time allotted and number of songs; cover charge (yes, I know, in olden times some venues actually let open mikers drink for free—but this is a new era); type of amplification, if any; and whether any accessories or instruments are provided or loaned. I once attended an open mike that had only a discount-store microphone on a desktop stand hooked up to a karaoke machine! IV. THOU SHALT KNOW THE ROPES. Before you set out for the open mike, talk to any performer friends to ask whether they’ve played this one, what their impressions were, and the general reputation of both the venue and the open mike. You don’t want to go to an open mike expecting a quiet coffeehouse and find nonstop talking, jukeboxes on, smoky air you could cut with a machete, and a hostile or cantankerous audience. Which leads us to.... V. THOU SHALT KNOW THE NATURE OF THY VENUE. This ought to be obvious, especially when the particular open mike is listed in a paper or on a Web site under a specific category, such as country or folk. But some publications lump these genres together, and it can be a rude awakening to bound onstage with a couple of sprightly power-pop originals or blues grooves and find out it¹s strictly an Irish music or country-western club. You also don¹t want to sing your innermost thoughts and fears when what the club and its audience really prefers is Top 40 covers past and present; conversely, you don¹t want to play what¹s billed as a "songwriter showcase" with a setlist comprised of nothing but covers. And watch your language and subject matter if you¹re in a church or temple coffeehouse or family-friendly venue. In fact, it¹s best not to "work blue" at all unless you¹re in a truly rowdy bar or comedy club—then, anything (legal) goes. VI. THOU SHALT (IF POSSIBLE) SCOPE OUT THY HOST. The host has the power to put you completely at ease, push all of your buttons (good and bad), and generally call the shots as to how the evening will be conducted. The host is usually familiar with the club and may even be the management or owner. Try not to sign up for the first slot if you¹ve never played this venue before—you need to see how the host treats the performers, whether the host is willing to assist with the PA or your instrument and cables, if any, whether the host is truly an egotistical SOB or just a playful reincarnation of Don Rickles (OK, clone, since Rickles is still very much alive), and how strictly the host enforces the rules and if that varies for certain performers. Some hosts are delightful mentors, some martinets, and some take the gig strictly to ensure they get to perform and to heck with everyone else. Which brings us to.... VII. THOU SHALT P*** OFF NEITHER THY HOST NOR THY FELLOW PERFORMERS. See Commandment VI. Not to make you nervous or anything, but some hosts have a direct input on who gets booked to play paying gigs. Accordingly, getting on your host¹s good side might even lead to some bones thrown your way—even subbing as guest host when the host can’t. But if you do get on your host¹s wrong side, take every opportunity to make things right—you usually get a second chance. Pay attention to your fellow open-mikers—applaud and find something nice to say no matter what. They are not your competition, but they can throw information and even gigs your way, ask to cover your songs, and even end up collaborating with you! Plus,it's always cool to make new friends. Oh, and either shut off cellphones and pagers or put them on silent alert. Leave the performance space if you must make any phone calls. Tune up in the washroom or even outdoors if necessary. VIII. REMEMBER THE RULES AND KEEP THEM HOLY. Duh. Don¹t wear out your welcome by playing longer or more songs than permitted. For example, if you are allowed two songs, neither of them should be The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald, Sad-Eyed Lady of the Lowlands, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, the FM-radio-length version of American Pie, or (if in a trad. folk club) all 18 verses of the official Child-ballad version of Tam Lin. You could make one of these your entire set, but why? Going overlong is a sure-fire way to violate Commandment VI and make the entire evening a bitter experience indeed. It might also kill any chances you have of getting any favors from the host or even playing that venue in any capacity again for a long time. It is also guaranteed to earn you the enmity of your fellow performers, especially those unfortunate enough to have drawn late time slots. If you are underage, make sure you will be playing an all-ages club. 21-and-over venues will not even let you drink nonalcoholic beverages if you are under 21! (Some make exceptions if you're accompanied by a parent, so call ahead.) If you must smoke (tobacco), respect any no-smoking policy. You never know who among the audience or fellow performers is allergic or dangerously sensitive to smoke. And go lightly on the perfume, too. You don¹t need to have someone get an asthma attack during your best number. IX. THOU SHALT KNOW THINE A** FROM THINE ELBOW. Nobody expects you to be perfect, especially if you¹re a newbie and you've made that clear before you play. But until you have a large repertoire, photographic memory, improvisation skills, and a truckload of chutzpah, stick to what you know. There is no shame in using a cheat sheet for chords or lyrics—in fact, most clubs even provide music stands. Plenty of pros rely on them, too (though not on the big-time circuit). Experienced hands often use open mikes to try out new material—they have the experience to do so with some degree of competence. (And some may use the new-material excuse to cover up rustiness in playing established material—they are fishing for compliments.) But don¹t you try this! Play what you’re going to play at least several times through at home until you¹re satisfied you can do so comfortably. And have an encore ready—you never know. Some hosts are especially gentle and supportive if you're a first-timer, but let them take the initiative in cutting you some slack. Know your instruments, their capabilities, and their shortcomings. If you plug in to play, know how to do so, how to use any effects or accessories, what inboard settings to use and what to tell the host about your equipment and playing and singing style. A corollary to this is to never mess with the PA yourself unless you have the host¹s permission and you’re familiar with the house's rig. Never, ever break in an untried and untested piece of equipment or accessory on stage. Few things are more embarrassing than discovering a dead cable or battery, quirky stomp box, rattling bridge pin or buzzing string, or unreliable tuner onstage in front of a packed house...with that 10-15 minute clock tick-tick-ticking away. With that in mind, remember that "Murphy" isn’t just a surname—it’s the Law!. Bring extra strings (and know how to change them quickly), picks, caps (they go missing as regularly as do socks), cables, and even something to test them with if you can fit it into your case or bag. Always have a notebook and pen ready—both to write down ideas and solicit other’s e-mail addresses and phone numbers should you wish to start a mailing list (or just to make friends). And be in full command of your faculties when you take the stage—you’ll have plenty of time to relax and indulge yourself (prudently and lawfully, of course) after your set. You’ll enjoy it more, too. The last thing you want is a reputation as someone who can¹t perform sober. (And if underage, never endanger a club¹s liquor license by lying about your age—club owners do not appreciate being fined or worse, and they will not be enamored of you if you cause that.) You will make them just as much money if you guzzle soda pop, coffee, or tea—and nobody gets into trouble or hung over. X. BE NICE AND HAVE FUN!!! Main Page • List of Tips • Contact Sandy Copyright © 2000, Sandy Andina, All Rights Reserved